Holly-ness

If you don't understand my silence, you can't understand my words.

You'll stand before the sunset
and look down on me from the horizon
your silhouette is dark
and your eyes hold thunderstorms behind their lashes

I'll step away from you, wary
reminding myself of my own limitations
as I look away from your body
and run to the sanctuary of the moon

Iron claws will consume me,
fondling my breasts, grabbing at my body
watercolored threats will rain on me, fall from your tongue
and I will gasp for breath, struggling to inhale
through the weight of your body, pinned down over mine

I will scream, but only in my mind
you will look down at me with your rainy eyes
and smile like an animal while you remove my skin

Then you will lower your head, so that your mouth rests by mine,
yet while you kiss me, you will whisper,

"what do you think of your precious god now?"

They are watching...voices...eyes...everywhere...not a single moment...unseen...all is observed...This is my lament...

Hidden within sin
Fear within eyes
Death within cuts
Dripping bitter sweat
Cold dark knife
Crossing over my veins
Life unbearable
Scared of living
Finding only false love
Misunderstood feelings
Flowing from the heart
Sick of this confinement
Breath groping timidly
Among the deadly sunset

Darkness hiding hopes
Echoing lost time
Featuring…
Reflections of fear
Clenched eyes
Forcing smiles
During punctured infest

Do you like how it feels?
Now you know how it is
I’ve gotten use to it
The depression
The hurt
The anger
There all so familliar to me
But soon you’ll know them
All just as well as I do
The sadness
The stress
The torment
Now it’s all your turn
And I don’t envy you
Because now you’ll know my pain

I miss you
I need you
I want you
I crave you
I desire you
I require you
I demand you
I long for you
I pine for you
I wish for you

I yearn for you
                                          I hunger for you
                                           And I love you
                                           Beyond life itself

My Fry!! Alycia.

This is me and my babe trevor, cute eh?

I take the knife you stabbed in my back
As the pain ties itself around my heart
The tears flow like rivers down my cheeks
I walk in a crowds all its attentions on me
As harsh whispers and snickers flood the halls
Hitting me like sharp painful slaps
As I hold the knife you stabbed in my back
I slowly put it to my wrist and watch the red pain flow out
Drip by drip it falls from me
You are the one who pushed me this far
But no longer can you hurt me
I've ended the hurt myself...

…A sword placed into stone just like
The sword you stabbed within my
Bleeding and broken heart just like
The knife you placed in my back with

Jealously of the past that left
Scars for life…
Scars of love…
Scars of death…
Scars that will stay with me for life
And I am proud of all these scars
Each carrying a different memory
Each having it’s own little story
For these scars are my life…

Lesley, Sarah and TORANCE!! (Erin)

Nikki and jamie..<3

It's Dave!!! This Guy Rawks!!

I know one thing we certainly do have in common…
We both love each other dearly, and we always will…
You're what keeps me going each day and I thank you…
I know that if it weren’t for you I couldn’t make it…
I want to spend the rest of my life with you

I never want it to end…
I’m happy when you're around me

Sad when you're not…
I miss you when you're not here

Not careing if you're gone only for a second…
That one second feels like eternity, and I can’t stand it…
You're the only thing keeping me from losing self control
You're the only thing keeping me here

You're the only one stopping me from taking it all away…
I can never repay you for this…

But I’ll spend my life with you trying…
When I try to think of what to say only 3 words come to mind…
I love you…

My Trevor Babe

Cold metal bars block out the sun,
Soft white pads cover the walls,
Doctors in white coats
Take notes
Down the halls.
Watching me,
My every move,
Daring me to try,
In my straitjacket
That others call my life.
Nothing to do all day
Except sit here and stare,
My hands aren’t free
To run through my black hair.
As I drift away from the Sane,
I look up at the glass.
If I look hard enough,
I can see them looking past.
Past my eyes,
Past my mind,
Looking at my soul,
They would look past my heart too,
If it weren't a black hole.
Broken so many times,
So this is how I feel inside.
My life,
The Asylum . . . .

Mitch, Dan C, Justin

My gurls Ally and Andrea

Human nature does yearn for a place in the pack, and some power in the pack. But it isn't power that corrupts it's the fear of losing it or not having any at all that causes to many problems in my experience.

myself.. again

I knew I loved you
The first second I saw you
I knew I wanted to spend my entire life with you
The first second you uttered a syllable to me
I knew I wanted you to be my husband
The first second we held hands while walking
I knew I wanted you to be the father of my children
The first second you said "I Love You"

Bloodstained darkness
Gasps within silence
Sour thirst taking over
Like fire burning my throat
Searching for a final victim
So I can escape this unbearable
Pain that binds me to this life
Yet night after night I am forced
To grope my victims tentatively
Longing for their blood only to
Make the despicable pain cease
Longing to feel the touch of
The suns deadly rays crashing
Down upon my pale white skin
Yet I cannot and am stuck within
The Bloodstained Darkness…

:cO //scary\\

Night is my home and prison
searing
poisoning
Black roses are strewn in my path
while I dream at the wicked night
i am lost and cast away from society
my energy is sapped by the outside world
the clock is made of blood
helpless
no solace for the unforgiven
(cry)
endless fear

My life is a dark pool of blackness
falling
dropping
my dark soul cries out but no one listens
I saw the eyes of Death...
the blade kisses me deeply
though i breathe i am not truly alive
the blood that i have bleed for thee
screaming
i am fallen and will never rise
life is my blood
endless bleak night

My Babe and his buddy Ryan

My Babie-Gurl Jaz.. We're pretty much twins!

My Trevor Babe

I turn up the music trying
To blare out the screams
Screams from my past
Screams from the present
Screams all around me
Telling me I'm good for nothing
Telling me that I'm an idiot
Telling me that I'm useless
Telling me that I'm a liar
They are trying to brainwash me
Into believing all that they say
No matter how harsh it may be
But I'm trying not to believe them
My world is so unappealing

This is my Sissy-ter! Jessica

I sit locked in the bathroom sitting on the floor…
The razor blade pressed to my vein ready to slice…
As I press down harder breaking through my skin…
The blood drips off my hand onto the white carpet…
There’s a bang on the door I jumped as I hear it…
I ignore it intent to finish what I started…
I do the same to my next wrist the blood flows…
The banging continues at the door I sit back…
Desperate cries come from the other side…
I pretend I don’t hear them and soon I don’t…
The door flies open broken I sit and watch…
I find myself into the grip of your arms…
I see the cry as I start to lose consciousness…
Suddenly everything fades black disappearing…
The carpet stained blood red…

Mindz

More of Me and My Muffin.

My Gurl Ashy

Hastings Gang..Kool eh?! lmao..

My cutie Kk.

Feeling your voice cut into me
Feeling your cruel words lash out
Like a knife stabbed deep into my back
Spewing dark red blood leaving me gasping
As I am left in the depths of silence
Your evil deed done for the day

http://holladoll.signmyguestbook.com/